Talk about lagging!

Shit I don't even know the last time I was on here. I guess that's why I don't keep a diary. I always forget to write in it. But sooooo much has changed. And now that I'm on a computer and 2 screen allll day long, the last thing I want to do when I get home is get on the computer.

And I'm lazy.

But I love my job. It's really hard and challenging, but isn't that what everyone wants from a job? If it's too easy it's boring and time goes by slowly. But shit my days fly by, and I still have a ton to do!

Fuck I can't even describe the awesome feeling I get when I bring something in, and it's super popular. Yeah!!!

I definitely feel more like an adult. Which seems a little late considering I'm almost 30. Eh, better than never!

Fingers crossed the bf and I will get our own place this next year!!

And no, I'm not going to make a resolution, because what's the point if I don't intend on keeping?

Ok, there you go. My recent life summed up.

<3<3

New begining

So much has changed! I'm now a corporate lady! Not total suit and tie status, but that's how I like it. It's so weird being in a different atmosphere where I know no one, and know the least. But I love that I'm actually doing what I want, and it's interesting. I just hope I kick ass and move up!

This new M-f 8-430 thing is weird! This will be my 1st full week doing it....I don't mind, but the drive time sucks. I live the furthest.

Hmmm.

So far so good.

Thank you Facebook

Yes, thank you Facebook. Thanks to your reminders that you send everyone, people I rarely speak to, or are just acquaintances with, knew, and wished me a happy birthday. Thank you for the false sense of friendship. No, no, it was really nice that they took the time so say it, but I feel think they felt obligated since you told them about it.


Am I the only one that feels that? I dunno....maybe that's why I have a FEW close friends, and plenty of acquaintances. Cause actual good friends are hard to find. Especially out here in the OC and LA. I'm so glad I have Sarah out here. I've been friends with her for so many years now!! And living in Texas, there are a lot more people that are genuinely down to earth. Not to say there aren't STUPID FUCKERS out there, or that there aren't good ones out here. However for the most part, I love my goooood friends from Texas. Less bullshit I guess!
But yeah, I love that I have so many old, good fucking memories with Sarah from my life in Texas. And now she's out here, a part of my California life, making new, even better, crazy, interesting memories!
I just wish Karla could be! I miss her so much. I miss getting ready to go to Numbers on a Friday night for 80's night/ 50 cent beer night. And I want her to meet Heinz so bad. Cause I know how well they would get along. But um...yes thanks to Facebook, it's a lot easier to stay in touch than 10 years ago.

Well I guess this is my lil rant about friends? I dunno. I think I'm rad, (toot toot of my own horn) and I'd like to think my choice of friends are even better. lol And there are a lot of douche bags out there. So you gotta be careful.

Wow, I'm getting all deep and shit. I should smoke before I post more often... or maybe since I'm older now, I'm immediately smarter and more philosophical! hahahaha!

where's the beef?

I'm tired of hearing about Lindsay Lohan. Who really gives a fuck about yet another child star that ends up fucked up? I don't. And do enough people REALLY care enough to have this much news media coverage?

Ugh. I don't want to go to work tomorrow, Under appreciated, and so on.

Le Sigh.

Stress: Not a new word around here!!

Oh stress, how you take up so much of my life recently!!

Well last week my mom had her breast removed. yikes!! And to think they were going to do nothing but send her home because the mammogram showed nothing. Luckily she spoke up, because this little "zit" on her nipple hurt. They did a biopsy, and sure enough it came back cancerous. So they took the thing off, and tested some of her lymph nodes, but they were ok.

So yesterday she went to the doctor for the follow up, and it wasn't good. They studied the breast they removed under the microscope, and there were more cancer cells than they knew about. Apparently they didn't even show up in the MRI. And I guess the main way breast cancer spreads through the body is through the lymph nodes near/under the armpit to the rest of the body. So next week (while her scars are new, cause scar tissue is really tough) they are going to go in and take some of them out.

ahhhhhh!!!!!!!

And it's a surreal experience looking at her minus a breast....

But it really has brought us closer, I try to be home a little more than before, and I always ask how she's doing. I brought her a balloon and orchids in the hospital.

I'm so happy that I have Heinz's support; he even went with me to visit her in the hospital even though he's terrified of them.

I've never dealt with cancer before, and it's a scary experience. There are so many unknowns. I don't know a thing, but yet often times reading Web MD or websites like that instill fear instead of knowledge. And it's my mom. You never want anything bad to happen to your parents.

On top of that I still can't find a mother fucking job that actually uses my degree. They all want experience. But I don't have that because I'm just being fucked over from a company I've worked my ass off for. Wanting to gain experience with them, but then not being good enough for them. No raise in over 2 years. And quite a few "fuck yous" from HQ.

So what do I do? I guess what I have been; whoring my resume out and hope to hear something. Anything.

And support my mom any way I can :)

cancer :(

AHHH!!!
Well today my mom found out that she has to have her whole breast removed. And as much as you hear about breast cancer, you never think it will happen to you/a loved one. And as much as I don't get a long with my mom, it makes me sad to think that she has to have one of main thing that defines us as women, removed.

On one hand she really lucky that it's more to make sure the cancer does not spread, not that the whole breast is infected with cancer. But it's scary. And I know shes scared even if she won't tell me. Would that be rude to buy her one of the fake ones to put in her bra? Or would she think that's sweet? hmm. we already have such a weird relationship, I'm not sure how to approach anything with her!

white trash day?

Today was soooo long.
And boring.

And apparently the white trash sign was lit up in the air...like the batman light

Cause today was the day for white trash.
And it's weird cause I felt like I was back in Texas. lol

And they day just fucking dragged on.
I didn't want to leave Heinz's. I wanted to lay there all day with him. Cause Thursday was awesome.
We do a lot, and not a lot and have a shit ton of fun. And I laugh my ass off. He acts like such a little boy sometimes and it's so cute.

And when he imitates me, he over exaggerates and it's so fucking funny. Especially when I'm trying to sound like Chewbacca.

Don't ask.


And tomorrow will be long an boring.
I work till 3pm by myself :(

I hate it!
I'm so unhappy there :(
Time draaaaaags on.
No passion.
Sigh.

Fuck you shitty economy!